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                         At last, I am finally back from Pahang and enjoying a better lifestyle in KL. But I have to say, I was shocked to hear that my mother went to Canada WITHOUT even letting me know about it. I suppose it's to avoid disturbing me on my SPM examination period since it is something very important in my life. I got even more insane when i heard that she's coming back on March 2015!!!!! as in next 3 months. B.T.W. she when there on October 2014.................. so that's a total of 6 MONTHS!!!! -_- According to my sister, My mother went to Canada to visit my auntie, but I doubt that she would need 6 months to spend her time with her big sister.(sigh)

                          Anyway, not much of a difference that has happened to my room. I do get some house chores everyday. Others than that, I'm basically free from any other stuff since my mother isn't around. I would have to start looking for a part-time job to earn a few extra bucks for my the stuff that I want to buy. And also start looking for a college to enroll in which my sister recommended Taylor's college. I'm not sure that I would want to trust her but apparently a lot of rumors says that Taylor's college has a good recognition and up-to-date facilities. Oh and they also have a beautiful library... not really interested.

                            I have been thinking a lot of ways in decorating my room into an anime paradise but I don't want to go overboard with putting up too much posters. Figmas are expensive so currently I only have 2 S.A.O. and 2 My-Hime characters on my table top. Good enough i suppose. My plans are still the same, I am going to rank up in LOL with some friends before 2015 starts and I'll become better at Dragon Nest.

                            With all that said, I am glad to be back home in KL where everything is lively. And I'll definitely visit a lot of places starting tomorrow....Then again, maybe I'll just lie in my bed and sleep the whole day XD. It is confirmed that I'll be going to a printing shop for my business card to be made. For those of you interested, here's the facebook page: www.facebook.com/cardfightvanguardstuff
Thank you for your support :)

Don't Forget Who you are

                 
                      I just realized that the world we lived in is cruel. Everything is systematic and no mercy is spared to anyone. Up until now, this world should have made me lose my sanity and resulted in me committing suicide. And yet here I am, still alive and healthy as always with a bright future ahead of me which will be awesome. Somehow I feel as if none of this nonsense would ever pop up in my head as I continue to live my life peacefully. You never knew something that is so good and real could be corrupted and infested so easily without much effort.

                      It took me exactly 17 years and 10 months for me to realize that a persons' sorrow can never be reviewed unless he/she gives you the permission to see it. When the moment you experienced it. You would actually felt relieved that you are not alone in this crazy world, but you might also felt sad due to the pain that that person was suffering. After knowing this, you might feel a void in your soul building up slowly. You had no idea how much pain a person could endure mentally until you have compared it with your own pain and make an approximation about it.

                      In order to stop the pain that one is enduring, one must keep a strong will of sanity in his/her mind. Here's the hard part, there are millions' of ways to prevent losing your mind but choosing it is very confusing. An incorrect cure could result in becoming insane, addiction to drugs or even committing suicide. If you forgot who you were or simply discarded the old you in order to gain a new personality, you will suffer the 'side effects' of the new version of you. Friends that you trusted the most and are dear to you could only help you SLOW IT DOWN, nothing more, nothing less. But 'true friends' are mostly the recommended cure in stopping your sanity from losing grip from your soul.

                       People like these will always be encountered everyday in your life until you passed away. If you could someone still keep your sanity after living on this type of world then I'll say one thing :  Congratulations on NOT losing your sanity up until now. There are plenty of people out there that has their sanity lost/stolen. Even if the worst case scenario were to occur, You must and should always find a way to solve. If the cure is incorrect, then do it again and again..... and again. All the way until you get it right. Because nothing will happen if nothing is changed. So a word of advice for you all, try harder until you've got it.

It's Finally Over.

                         SPM examinations ended on December 3rd with the last subject that i secretly took (English for Science and Technology). and everything in that moment of my life felt refreshed.i feel like i could start a new chapter in my life and make new friends once i go into college. there are also some changes in my current friends' lives after they finished in their SPM. some says they're going to work straight away without enrolling into college for a diploma/degree while others are planning to study overseas with the hopes of a scholarship.

                        A lot has definitely changed and i could not believe that after 11 years of studying (6 years of primary and 5 years of high school), now we are able to decide whether do we continue to study through college/university or go out into society and look for a job/career. every ones' mind probably have all their future planned out after christmas. i've been considering about entering INTI college with early enrollment on 12 of january 2015 with my trail SPM results. since i wasn't picked for PLKN (national service) and i have a standard passing grade on my SPM results, this gives me plenty of reason and time to enjoy my holidays until 11 of january and also near to the upcoming chinese new year on february. i think i should have enough fun with my life until then.

                         Some changes in life are also surprising and excited. Recently an old friend of mine back in SMKSJ in KL. DUCKY (if u can guess who that is XD) has finally opened a facebook account.... around few hours ago i think. she said with her SPM finished, her sister finally allows her to have a facebook account.... i had no idea what's wrong with her family but i'm glad she was able to explore a new world and with the help of a social network, i think she'll get used to the outside world soon enough. she also has plans for college and has already decided to be an accountant as her career. some of my friends has thoughts about becoming a musician while some just decided to become a card provider in a casino at Genting Highland...

                           I don't have the rights to tell other people on how to plan out their future. but sometimes i don't even know how to plan out my own future. it's kinda weird if u think about it. i mean i already finish my education years, its' about time i step out into the real world and learn how to survive. but for some reason i have a LITTLE bit of thoughts about everything staying the same as it was. of course time waits for no man, but imagine if u could have relived a moment in the time of ur life that u made a mistake and go back to that specific moment to change that mistake so that ur future may have turned out differently... even though that's impossible, but sometimes we have moments that made us think that maybe we could have done something in the past so that this wouldn't happened. but there's also the probability that if the past were to change, then the future might turn out to be worse than what we've expected it to be.

                          It's about time that we look into our future and start deciding wisely on how we should get there. it's not like we're gonna repeat the same mistake twice or anything. eventually, things will get better in our life than before and we won't miss out on that opportunity. and with that, look up and high onto our next road of adventure. it's going to be awesome!

Happy December

                   It's the first night of December 2014 and what i am wasting the whole midnight watching 'The Social Network' while eating instant noodles..... in bed...........(i have to say, it is very relaxing). still couldn't figure it out what life is all about but i guess i'll have to see it eventually. currently thinking of getting a part-time job as an IT salesman..... nothing to fancy. moreover, i was relieved(hyper-excited) that i didn't get chosen for PLKN national service(HELL YEAH!!!, i am a well mannered boy lol). Unfortunately, most of my friends were get chosen so........ that's a little sad...

                    Anyhow, i was also a little concern with what college i should decide on enrolling in. i know it's not possible... but if there is a small percentage of chances, i would like to go to the same college with some of my friends. i kinda dun like to be stated as a freshmen. of course there is also the problem with my SPM results for i am not sure whether i could fulfill the passing requirements for enrolling into even a single college. if i can't, i will be considering about working in a casino at Genting Highland. i've heard from one of my friend here that said they pay a cardholder RM1500 monthly with hospitality and food included as well. and it gets better on every year that there will be a raise in salary annually... but if i can actually enroll into a college, then i'll work my way up from college to a proper job. anything else would be prioritize less and i would continue to dedicate most of my life to gaming....(mainly LOL).

                     I've also been considering about learning japanese language since i am an animefreak and i like japanese culture. i'm sure it will benefit me since it's a language to my communication collection. no harm done i'm sure. in the mean time, stay frosty :)

currently bored...

                Alright it's 8.40pm currently in malaysia time and i had no idea what i should do. i got wasted last night leveling up my dragon nest character (lvl 30-31) only one level -.- and spent the whole midnight(almost until 6am) andthe results was only 1 level up. today, i'm going to do the same thing only with coffee and cup noodles(coffee for staying awake and cup noodles so that i don't get hungry in the middle of the night)XD.

                 Right now, i am playing LOL for my 'first day win' bonus and i still could not get any matches through team builder -.-(damn). switching to normal bind pick soon.

                  Ever since the end of my SPM examinations, i have been spending most of my time playing these 2 games and as usual catching up to anime shows. i should be deciding on which college i should go for since everyone already have a crystal clear vision of their favor in their career. sadly, i'm still in jerantut, pahang(no college here that i like... or near). trying to take my mind off from future studies with games(quite pathetic i would say)... nevertheless, going in on a match now and will blog later.... if i can...

keep walking, don't look back.

                         It's finally over!!! my SPM is all done. 12 years of education and now it's finally finish. not sure whether should i be happy for finishing my education or sad the fact that i'll never get to study again... although i'm done with high school, there are still considerations being made to see whether will i want to go to college or not. not sure would i want to speed up my career or study a little further before exposing myself to society... at the moment, i planned on getting a part-time job and stay home most the playing video games for the whole december 2014 until comic fiesta.

                         Right now i am only playing 2 games (LOL: league of legends and dragonnest). Feel free if u wanna add me (LOL:tylerkiller and dragonnest:PROdigyXXX). i will be moving back to KL selangor soon since my hometown is there and after spending finishing school here, i got no reason to continue staying. i'm not sure what has changed in subang jaya while i'm away but i heard rumors that LRT station is being built there for easier transportation around the KL area. But since i already got a license and a car, i doubt i would be needing to go places through a train. petrol fees are killing me though :( nevertheless, since i rarely go out to places. i doubt i'll be using much fuel for the car.

                         A lot will definitely change that's for sure. i won't juz be a normal schoolboy anymore and new things will occur to my life from this point on(hopefully not drugs or smoke). the important thing is that we mustn't regret the decisions we made. on every challenge we faced in life, in our heads we always have that small little 'thing'(conscious) that tried to tell us which is the correct decision. ultimately, we're the ones who decides and picks it. either way, sometimes the decisions we choose may not be the way as we planned out to be. by now i'm sure u all know that EVERY SINGLE decisions has it's ups' and down side. if u were to choose between decision A and decision B, either decision will get u to ur goal but both has its 'good' side and 'bad' side, so what's the difference , why not we juz choose it randomly since both of them will give us the 'bad' side? it's quite simple really, we simply choose the decision that has the LEAST 'bad' effects on it. it is true that since either decision will cause some regrets it our heart. after choosing and living with the decisions we have picked, sooner or later we would start thinking "What happens if i had picked the other choice, everything would have changed if i had just picked that choice. Why didn't i picked it when i had the chance??? it was in my grasp and yet i choose this instead of that".

                          i'll be clear to u all that u won't get a better result if u choose another decision over the current one that u had picked. regretting it would juz be wasting ur time because u're pausing ur lifespan as u feel guilty over the course of the events that had happened. the best way to counter it is to continue with what u had planned to do and start all over from scratch while avoiding the same mistakes the next time u encounter the same scenario again. because u're always close to the door of ur goal. if u regret the decisions u've made, u'll be turning away from it.

                          With all that in mind, Always keep moving forward without fear. don't be afraid of the obstacles(decisions) when u face them. calm down and handle it with ur best moves. either planned out an strategic infiltration with ur knights or handle it slowly with ur small pawns(chess references)XD. anyhow, that's all for now. i'll be going on ahead and try my best to live my life to my fullest extension. i give u all the same blessings on continuing moving forward, GL HF :)

I'm almost there

                      Only a few more days until my SPM exams are over. there was a long pause between each paper and the longest one was between my add maths and chemistry(which is tomorrow). during this period, normally all students have been studying for their remaining subjects. but i wasn't, instead i was doing more stuff that i like(watching anime, improving my facebook page: www.facebook.com/cardfightvanguard and collecting some anime stuff). i guess i'm a little different from others... i'm in science stream and mostly all the students who went for science stream are the ones who has the most thinking caps being put on them everyday. well for me, i just kinda did it on a wimp i think.

                       I'm gonna be honest here, i never wanted to take science stream in the first place. before my PMR(form 3 final exams) i made a promise to myself that i'll go to account/economics stream and definitely avoid art stream(the lowest stream). After receiving my PMR results, i was shocked that i had 3A's and all of my other subjects are deemed as a passing grade and that i was given the option to go science stream since i got A's in science and maths(the requirements for entering science stream). at that moment, a lot of thoughts came to my mind about choosing between science and eco/acc. of course my parents would want me to enter science stream(duh, what parents wouldn't). but i wanted to stay true to myself and enter eco/acc, that's when something screws up my life and made me decided on picking science over eco/acc.

                        During the december 2012 holidays, my mom had a weird hallucinating problem thinking that our neighbors was trying hurt her and me-_-, the whole family(including me) told her that she was insane and nothing's going to happen. and that's when she begs my dad to take care of me instead of her. But since my dad is working somewhere far(not overseas) he decided to let my grandmother to take care of me..... in JERANTUT!!!!! somewhere in PAHANG!!!(if u have heard of it cuz that place is almost deserted). this means i have to throw everything i have away in selangor and start a new life in pahang. And the school i went to have almost every single of their subjects in the language of Bahasa Melayu(i'm not really good in it since i barely passed it in my PMR)...only in science stream, all the science subjects are in english, so pretty obvious what stream i would choose to enter. except the teachers who teaches these science subjects used BM and their English translation sucked.

                         The only way i could learn these science subjects is by buying a English reference book. thank god i drop physics, cuz i dun have to waste so much money all 3 of them(biology, chemistry and physics). also, my add maths teacher is a fucking retarded bastard who always picks on me just because i sucked at his subject. its not my fault since u teach everything in BM. i barely understand what his trying to explain. at one point, he even ordered me to report to the discipline room just because i wasn't able to complete his assignment(which is incredibly hard). and all i had to do was to explain some simple reasons to the discipline teacher and he understood everything(thank god he understands english) and let me return to my classes. it was barely a case. Another stupid teacher is a chinese teacher who kept telling me to take chinese subject since it's my mother's tongue. i told him that i went to an English primary school and that i've NEVER taken a chinese exam in my entire life!!! and he still told me to take it until i reach form 5 which i got we got a new chinese teacher that won't disturb and just let me do my thing.

                            It has a miserable life living here for 2 years straight until now. at one point, i even thought of running away from home and just live on the streets until i died(not relevent to my point). i endured it and tried to talk to my friends/bro, justin and sometimes greg(a little) and tried to express my feelings in a weird way for them not to understand(i don't want them to understand it, i only just wanted them to be there while i'm expressing it).

                             After 2013, i made a resolution that i would improve my anime lifestyle in this forsaken place and tried to study hard(not really XD) and endure it all the way up until now. A lot has happened, i got better in LOL(stuck in bronze elo hell though), opened a facebook page(www.facebook.com/cardfightvanguardstuff) dedicated to my anime life(it was for a japanese card game at first but what the heck XD) and learn how to photo shop(its about time). with all these things keeping me busy from my misery, time flies by in a single instant and now i'm on the crossroads of life that would determine whether do i get a education certificate or become a broken bastard with a crippled results.
 
                              It is at this point that i just want to express my thanks to my friends who has been there and helping me to get through this even though u had no idea what i was going through. i don't know how much i have endure, but for some reason i was happy to have gone through this path of in my life. i don't feel anything at the moment(probably drinking coffee got me hyperactive that i forgot to cry). nevertheless, i am thankful to be alive and that i'd accept to continue playing the game of life rather than ending it. pretty funny how my life is almost the same as one of my friends. father left and rarely comes back, crazy mother, a christian and love to listening music(anime version though) to express oneself. i started writing a blog because i felt the same pain as that friend(i'm sure u know who u r).

                               Recently, i was able to download an RPG game(dragon nest) thanks to Dickson(friend on mine here). A game that i have not been able to play for a VERY LONG time due studies during my form 3 years(PMR exams). ironically, i downloaded it during my SPM exams lol. i love playing it and i'm going to spend my holidays leveling up this game.
                                           

                                           DAMN, a lot of things has changes in this game

                                   Really excited about being able to continue playing this game and of course i'm not gonna get addicted to it, i'll perhaps find a part-time job to earn a few extra bucks and continue living up to my sweet anime lifestyle(looking forward to comic fiesta 2014).

                                    And i think that's pretty much it... tomorrow's my chemistry exam and i think i can handle it. other than that, i'm looking forward to my live. either i go down or up, i'm definitely not gonna end it until i see the full extension of my upcoming future( i think it's going to be LEGEN.........wait for it..........DARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD). see ya.